If you’re more of a Harlem Globetrotter than a Michael Jordan, you’ll truly appreciate these super funny basketball jokes and puns.Fouls, traveling, dunks, March Madness, and jump shots are all fair game here. They make up everything. As always, here are some Friday jokes, puns and one liners, that are not necessarily particularly original, or terrifically funny, but they may raise the occasional smile or groan… Sad that the local archery business had to close. Well, that's all of r/Jokes in one simple post. "Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible." 82.75 % / 4126 votes. He won’t expect it back. Ilene. The funniest one liner jokes and puns on the internet. I'll become a father within two months and I've been looking for a list like this to improve my dad jokes. What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? 12 years. What does a clock do when it's hungry? He was charged with battery. I did a theatrical performance on puns. From clever Valentine's Day puns to corny one-liners to adorable knock-knock jokes, these hilarious ideas will get all the giggles. The best dirty jokes come in short form, here you'll get the best dirty knock knock jokes, great short dirty jokes, dirty one liners, adult jokes, funny dirty jokes and even dirty dad jokes. Later in the evening, the baba puts his head back on the door: A cabbage and celery walk into a bar and the cabbage gets served first because he was a head. She told me i was average, but she was just being mean. A pun, specifically, is the humorous use of a word or words (humorous is, of course, subjective) in such a way as to suggest different meanings or applications - OR - the use of words that have the same or nearly the same sound but different meanings. The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray was a seasoned veteran. Ground beef. Baba: – Father, I have been accused! 100 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive season one-liners 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer’s 41 best jokes … The one day of the week that eggs are definitely afraid of is Fry-day. A young person is a child, grows up, grows old, and then becomes like a child again. Things got a little tense. we had more.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_alphabet#Old_English. Whether you’re on the hunt for cheesiness or cleverness, this list is guaranteed to have the perfect joke for the loved ones in your life, whether young or old. Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in france? Why did one banana spy on the other? To write with a broken pencil is pointless. You’re not alone in your search for slam dunks in the joke department, either. ...I almost said that the alphabet had 24 letters. What do you call a cow with no legs? A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans. One liner tags: happiness, rude. ", New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. What’s america’s favorite soda? Because of the tally ban. Absolutely hillarious puns! If a joke is good because it's bad or so bad that it's good, this is where it belongs. ", A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says "Make me one with everything.". It was a play on words. The psychiatrist says "Well, I can clearly see youre nuts"I didn't ready the sidebar so crucify me if need be.I'm going to a murder mystery party Saturday and my character is supposed to be a gypsy juggler who is clever and funny. What’s it called when you have too many aliens? One liner tags: communication, doctor, puns. Took me a bit of thyme to get this one but I got it eventually. An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. What do cows tell each other at bedtime? 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. With a pair of Ceasars. How do trees access the internet? And let’s be honest, if you’re telling jokes to someone who is 103, they definitely could use a smile. After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it. 1.2k votes, 1.0k comments. Stand in the corner. What happens when you eat too many spaghettiOs? Remind me! Nevermind, it’s too cheesy. Lean beef. It was a play on words. He's alright now. Do you know sign language? I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana – mafia. You break me, then y’all get seven years of bad luck! It goes back for seconds. Mini soda. This was one of my uncle's favorite jokes when I was a kid. I read a book on anti-gravity. But you could argue that has already happened. What do you do with a dead chemist? r/oneliners: A variety of funny, one line jokes in a well-moderated, friendly community! They have loco motives. "Look for the fresh prints." I am originally from Indiana. If I had gold you'd get it good sir/madam. Famous One Liner Jokes. Press J to jump to the feed. What did the buffalo say to his son? I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me. An impasta. 1.8k votes, 7.2k comments. You have a vowel movement. 44. Bison. Think of it as Seinfeld versus Chapelle: both are funny, but only one comedian can play in the background while your 10 year-old is still awake. A 2017 study by Austrian neurologists published in Cognitive Processing found that people who appreciate dark jokes, which they define as "humor that treats sinister subjects like death, disease, deformity, handicap, or warfare with bitter amusement," may actually have higher IQs than those who don't. Why shouldn’t you trust atoms? Dairy tales. "Well, tell him I can't see him right now." “Hmm”, says the physicist, “You mean that some Scottish sheep are black”. Towels can’t tell jokes. A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils. best one line puns reddit. '” – Conan O’Brien. Because she was appealing. A lamborghini, but if that breaks down they drive their SuBAHHru. Take me to your liter. I bet you got stuck on the bucket of glue part. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. I used to be afraid of hurdles, but I got over it. Press J to jump to the feed. What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? One liner tags: puns. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Took me way longer than it should have to understand this. So, too, with your sense of humour: while you might be too cool for a knock-knock or a two-line pun in your teens or early twenties, something happens when you turn 30+ (or sooner if you have kids!). I couldn’t put it down. It’s 90 degrees. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Why did the man dig a hole in his neighbor’s backyard and fill it with water? Popa: – Yes, make so many laps, around the church, how many times you have been wrong! OUT LOUD! Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”. What do you call a cow with two legs? Shout out to the people wondering what the opposite of in is. You barium. Because it saw the salad dressing. Via El Arroyo ATX. It becomes daytrogen. Follow up to the Buddhist buying a hot dog: The Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 and the vendor puts it in his pocket. 31.4m members in the AskReddit community. The largest collection of dirty one-line jokes in the world. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. and the Buddhist replies "This is my inner piece! Why didn’t the lion win the race? Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck! What did the alien say to the pitcher of water? 52. How was Rome split in two? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. 82.75 % / 2717 votes. The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran. He could sense his presence. Most of these cute one liners are from the iconic comedians and others are from random people. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. We also have other funny jokes categories. Here are 175 really bad jokes, ranging from terrible puns and horrible one-liners to cringe- and groan-worthy jokes that are so bad they’re good. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_alphabet#Old_English. But I think it's Colin. Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend? ... a homely place for the best and worst of jokes that make you laugh and cringe in equal measure. What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? I just became one last week. Our funny one-liner jokes are short, sweet and make you laugh. Still, maintaining a dying pun is one way to showcase your commitment. Bring your A-game with humor for all – it’s the best gift to give your friends and family (next to tacos anyway). You could go ahead and start telling them now, although since you're not a real dad yet, that'd be a faux pa. Welp, now you do... Oh man, OP is gonna Get it Good! Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize. I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Toronto zoo. With that in mind, here are 48 clean, funny one-liner jokes for kids that get to the punchline as quickly as possible. These short jokes and puns will make you laugh for sure. Gum! SAY IT AGAIN! I did a theatrical performance on puns. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. They have a dry sense of humor. while swerving. Absolutely hillarious dirty one-liners! Funny Puns. GOURDgeous. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Ilene. Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? It would make it easier to repost a joke. 11 Best One Liner Jokes From Reddit I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one. The energizer bunny went to jail. We've got it all, from dirty knock knock jokes to dirty puns and much more!

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